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Please note that the memories and artwork contained herein are copyrighted 1999, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007 |
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This memory has sexual content. It also involves abuse between an adult and a youth. I held onto this memory for awhile before deciding to post this one. It is true to life and it is my memory though rather unpleasant. Like my companions at the school, I didn't feel like I could discuss this or go to anyone for help. I think the few teachers that behaved this way knew that we would not speak of it. It would be too shameful for us to admit that we allowed someone to exert his will over us and well, lets just say, at least now-a-days kids who have this kind of experience don't have to keep silent. They can tell someone. They can tell parents, teachers, principals, priests, ministers, policemen, social workers, doctors and the list goes on. During this present lifetime, I had a friend that was sexual molested by other kids. He told me about it some years after it happened and well, he didn't want to tell his parents because he felt bad about it, so I tried to get another friends father who was a psychologist to talk with him about what happened, but the psychologist would not see him. That was almost 25 years ago and people seem to be more aware of abusive events. If you are a professional and a child tries to speak with you without a parent making an appointment, please find out at least what the child wants. I don't know if my friend ever found anyone to talk to about this situation. He may still be holding it inside.
I am back at the military school. I am in the office of the school master that I described in an earlier memory. Now I want to say that I don't think that all of the teachers were that way. I get the impression that it was only 2 or 3 of them. I am standing bent over in the position to be swatted across the butt. I have dropped my pants as always instructed to do so with my hands on the desk to brace me. He walks around his desk and behind me. He has his long ruler? that he whacks the cadets with in his hand. I then feel him touch my butt with his hand and I start to turn around and he snaps at me to face forward. I turn back and wonder what the heck is going on. He runs his hand across my butt as if caressing it. I feel very uncomfortable. He suddenly pulls my trousers down further in a rough manner. Now my pants are down to just above my knees. I feel a bit embarrassed. I stand there like that for what feels like an eternity. He says something to me. Something about cooperation and things being less painful. He makes some comment about me being proud and arrogant and that he was going to teach me humility. He whacks me three times with the ruler and then stops. He then does nothing and I think he has finished punishing me and I start to move and he snaps at me again to stay still and face forward. He says he is no where near finished with me. He then puts his hand on my butt again and moves it up and down and then he sticks his fingers up my anas. I wonder what the hell is he doing and jerk to move and he suddenly slaps the ruler down on the desk to my left. That was the direction that I kept turning. The noise of the ruler hitting the desk scares the hell out of me. I think he will hit me with it if I move again. He moves his fingers and jams them in and then says something to me in a whisphered tone that pisses me off. He then removes his fingers. (He said, "I will teach you to like this.") He then reaches from behind and takes a hold of my balls and penis. He messages them for a moment and says something about my physical development. I am so angry and upset that I am virtually frozen with anger. He then stops playing with me after forcing some arousal. He then whacks me across the butt 3 times again. He then proceeds to stuff his penis in me and I complain that it hurts and that he should stop. I think I actually start to cry. He pulls out and tells me that he will give me something to cry about and starts to whack me soundly on the bottom. He swatted me until I was quite sore. He then dismissed me and warned me that I would learn more from him if I didn't behave. |
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