For the most part I get the impression that I had a happy childhood as Manfred. I sense that I was very fond of my mother and siblings. I was especially close to Lothar and yet at times he drove me crazy. I think because I was so fond of him that when he made me angry that it hurt even more than if I did not feel close to him. The two people that remain somewhat enigmatic to me are my father and Bolko.

I have come to the realization that I did not always get along with my father and that he frustrated me. He was not very warm and close to us, and I look back at that with disappointment. It was probably the times that we lived in that made him that way and why our mother "put up with him" as Lothar would say. There is only one photo of him that brings about any kind of warm feelings towards him and that is the one of us sitting together in the garden after my head injury. Possibly, the Richthofen family may have other photos that would bring good feelings to the surface but for the time now, that is the only photo. I was very hurt by being sent away from home to the military school and the birth of Bolko did not help any. I think I felt like I had been shoved out and replaced. This was a thought that I, sure as hell, would not voice openly as Manfred, but it is the overwhelming feeling that I get.

Little Bolko has also been a great mystery to me and I often wish that I would have had the time to get to know him better.  As more memories have surfaced about my childhood, I have begun to suspect that my youngest brother was not my brother.  I suspect that he may have actually been my son. It would explain a good deal of the strange circumstances that surround that time of my life. I was very fascinated by the opposite sex and the girls seemed to be just as fascinated with me.  I