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Please note that the memories and artwork contained herein are copyrighted 1999, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008 |
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7/18/92 Today was my second regression session. It is interesting to note that two nights ago, right before bed, I had a vision of a young girl with dark long waving hair which transformed to her at about 45 years old, with a bandana in her hair, and old apron over a knee length skirt and old shoes on. When I told my mother about my vision she was able to "see" it in full color, like a motion picture. She said I was from Italy along the upper right hand border. My family had a grape vineyard and that I lived there my whole life. My first vision was me at about fifteen years old., and it was the year 1915, World War I. I was aware of a young German Pilot who was shot down near our "vista" point where I lived. He was in his early twenties, possibly twenty-two.. He was blonde with blue eyes, about 5'11" and well built. My mother smiled at me and said, "This young man is your husband now, Patrick." Yes,...I knew..I can see it in his eyes. I had found him after his plane was shot down and I hid him in the barn. When my father found out he was furious with me. There was a lot of regret around this when I was alone later in that life. Later I would wear his old shoes to remind me of my father as I worked in the vineyards. Then I was a young girl, and at a festival; music was playing, people where happy. I was standing by a stone fence and wearing a very fancy dress, it was blue with white lace. There was a tree which hung over the stone fence and supplied shade. It was an olive tree. I felt very happy and secure during this time. I then moved to a few years later and I found myself arguing fiercely with my father. He stood in the arched doorway of our house, the top half of the door was open, the bottom half shut. I was very angry and frustrated with him, and him with me. Then suddenly I was looking into his eyes and I knew he loved me and I loved him. UNSPOKEN. He was in his mid forties and quite the head of the house. It seemed to me that there was a large generation gap between us and a lot of cultural issues that I didn't agree with. I also felt the presence of a younger brother and sister. Then I felt I was alone, I was older, walking the vineyards and remembering the past. I stood looking down at an old stone structure that had long since been destroyed. It is an interesting session because my mother told me about parts of it and yet I saw other parts and details which confirmed her visions. After my session she asked me if I knew what had happened to my family. I told her that I felt like I never got a chance to tell my father that I loved him or to amend our differences and that he had died. Upon this realization I felt the confusion of war, the loss of my whole family, they had died, all of them! My mother explained, "Your home was bombed by the Germans, your father, mother, brother and sister were all killed." She added that "You stayed there your whole life, and that I had seen the bombing from the "vista" point on the hillside where our grapes were. My mother then added. "I also see Patrick [the German pilot) leaving on a motorcycle with a side car with other Germans who had come to pick him up. American planes came in and bombed them, and that I also witnessed this from that same "vista" point. She said I loved him and that he loved me. He had been at our place for several months and had promised me that he would return for me. Instead I saw him killed. So putting this in perspective, I saw the German pilot killed first by Americans and then my Family killed only a few months later by Germans. I felt I had betrayed my father and his instructions not to aide the German pilot. The Germans had killed my entire family and I internally blamed myself and Patrick because of my choices and him being German....
3/11/95 Today I went to Italy. I found myself there briefly last time too.
Last Time I saw many faces of people in the early 1900s. I was about seventeen to nineteen years old. I wore old tattered clothes an apron, and high buttoned shoes. I looked down and I was young and thin. Then it jumped to when I was about forty. I looked down, I was much heavier, my clothes where different but still old and worn. I wore larger boots or high top shoes on my feet. I was waving good-bye to a woman who was a relative, she had a husband with her and they were doing quite well financially. Then I saw myself in my bed room, I was about nine years old. My father had carried my little sister up the stairs and put her in her bed. He tucked her in so gently. As he bent over I could see he wore suspenders, a white shirt, boots and brown slacks. He had no beard or mustache at this time but his hair was beginning to gray. I watched as he turned to me and muttered something in Italian, with lots of love. Then, time jumped forward and I could hear the train's whistle as it was leaving the station. The rolling of the metal wheels on the tracks, the conductor hanging off one rail. I saw a woman again, I think it was the same woman. I knew I had been on the train only a few times to meet these same relatives. Her husband was my fathers youngest brother. He was probably 15-20 years younger. Then I heard sirens, and I was not very old again. I saw bombs being dropped in town, not very far from my house. I turned and began to run for shelter. People were screaming and so frightened. Then I found myself older (maybe forty) talking very fast in Italian, I was debating an issue with the woman in front of me. I was standing in the door way of my house. The top of the door was open but the bottom half was closed. I was angry about the war, how people were being treated. So was she. Then there was a realization that I was a woman, my father had died, there was no man in the house, just me. A woman could not own property. Therefore my fathers youngest brother owned it. I merely kept it up, tended what little grapes I could and lived there. Occasionally they would come to visit and see how I was doing. That's why I saw them when I was so young and they were leaving on the train, and many times after that even when I was older. The last thing I saw was something I have seen before. The woman I keep mentioning who is my Uncle's wife, had her hair all done up in front, curls all around her face and the style looks like the mid 19 forty's. She has two little girls with her and the oldest is about five. She is looking in the small window of the room under the barn where I hid the German soldier in about 1915. I was watching her and remembering..it felt like I hid several others during this life time in there as well. My name was "Valeria"
6/15/95 Part of my meditation today took me to Italy.. I saw my little sister with her bangs, freckles and turned up nose. I heard myself calling her name... Natasha. She was about seven and I was probably about eleven. This was a happier time in my life in Italy. Then I was outside, working in my garden, it was the beginning of World War II and I was almost forty. There where soldiers coming through the area and they questioned me about the Jewish people who had been reportedly seen in the area. I was not very comfortable in this part of my meditation, my shoulders began to hurt, my jaws became stiff and tired. I also felt as though I was not wanting to remember sexual advances made toward me. I felt them searching the premises for Jewish people. I felt as though I had a family hidden somewhere in the barn under the floor boards, and possibly inside some of the large round wine barrels. Yes, I am sure of it.... I had left the barrels half full so that the soldiers when they moved them could feel and hear the wine inside. I do not believe they found them. But I remember the look of intense power and untrusting glares that the captain of the "Nazin" was directing my way!!! It's funny, I can still feel this life..the livingroom, my bedroom, the barn, the vineyards, the views..I can see them, smell them and feel them as if I was standing right there. I lived from 1900 - 1958....it jumps from the early years to the later years..and most of it is very sad..lonely and down right awful.
8/10/92 In my meditation..I enter into the light..a beautiful purple swirling light. Then it turns to a crimson red..then to an illuminous blue..... I see myself as a woman..I am picking up fruit off the group..I spilled a basket full of fruit. I am on the hillside of my home in Italy as a young girl..forward in time I am older, I am sad and lonely walking seems to have become very difficult. I know I am dying, I have been very ill. I am aware of the physical pain but also the sadness and loneliness that comes from being alone. I have ovarian cancer. Suddenly I am inside of my house.. I am sitting in the kitchen at the table and leaning to one side. I am crying and holding my family Bible very close to me. I never married in this life and I never had children. Suddenly I am no longer in my body, I am looking down and I see myself clutching my Bible..I know I have died. Time seems to be like I am in a dream..I can see two men come into the room one older man with gray hair and a small framed man in his mid forties. They have come to remove my body from the house. "So sad" they say..suddenly I feel disappear, they have forgotten something..the Bible, my book...my families book.... Then I am at my funeral, only a few people come.. I feel such sadness and so alone..I go to the hill by my families house in spirit body, I am looking over the grave sight on to my families property. Quickly... I am reviewing the German soldiers death, my families death in the bombing, my life alone... I know I chose to be alone..it was a lesson for me. |
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