Please note that the memories and artwork contained herein are copyrighted 1999, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010

This set of memories are just starting to surface.  I think they have been repressed due to the panful and distressing nature of the events that occurred during this time period.  Posted below are the first 2 of this life time's memories.  There are more links available at the bottom of the page.  The below memory flashes concern tragic time period in which the Knights Templar were horribly attacked by the Roman Catholic Church and the King of France.   Both of these parties left the Knights reeling since they were all Catholic Knights and vowed to protect the church and the King of France was supposed to be a friend to the Order.

I find clues to my present life attitudes often in the past even though in unexpected places.  I have never wanted to do anything with sailing ships or vessels of that nature, and this lifetime may be the reason for it.  I have come to realize that I may have been responsible for removing all of the Knights Templar, their families, and the possessions of the Order immediately after Jacques De Molay and his two companion knights, adjutant and bodyguard, were taken prisoners.

First Memory Flash

Stormy seas at night.  There must have been partial storm cloud cover along with moonlight.  The waves are high and rough and wind and rain beating down upon a group of old wooden sailing vessels.  I am standing on on of these vessels holding on tightly as I helpless watch and hear the screams of a nearby vessel that is breaking apart.  It was loaded with old men, old women, wives, children, and animals of the knights' families.  I can hear them panicing and screaming desperately calling for help from us.  We can not manage the stormy rough waves to get to the distressed ship.

Memories Private Jamie from this time: - I don't visualise any events at sea but the actual events surrounding this incident feel very familiar: the absolute terror of what was being done to the Templar families and the indigence that even children were being killed. I can see people running over heathland or some similar landscape towards a coast  on a dark rainy, windy night - Women crying, one particular lady who seem to be next to me or my viewpoint of clutching a baby boy wrapped in old clothes - rags that she was able to grab at the last minute... She is frantically trying to hold back tears and he begins crying in a pitiful way just as they've passed me. There is lots of noise - shouts from men to keep going or to go faster, shreiks from women and shrill, desperate questions from scared children as, a little way n the distance, a house is set on fire. We can't see how it has done so, but we all know how...

The men stay at the back and herd everyone along, every so often we seem to lose one; he's got too tired or something as some have been running for days it seems... I can't tell you if this is something i'm actually remembering or something i'm 'seeing', through you or etc, but i feel as if, in the image, i'm a boy aged around 14 or 15 - not quite old enough to be expected to go in the rear with the men, but very close to being so.I'm wearing a whitish linen shirt/tunic and brown leggings or trousers and ankle boots whose tops fold down. I feel a responsibility to the ladies, especially the one with the tiny boy. I think he's about 2 or 3 weeks old.

Your description is hauntingly familiar - i can see it and feel it, hear the water lapping at the ships and the shore! i'm pretty sure now that i was there too - My mind suggests i coud have been the son of a miller - I think i believed in our cause but he didn't.. Or he didn't at first then he became more and more persuaded of it as time went on... I think the woman with the baby boy must be my (elder) sister or the daughter of a neighbour - i feel related to her or that i knew her closely but she's too young to have been my Mother,( i think)..though i guess its just about possible.

Second Memory Flash

It is an overcast cloudy day.  A light misty rain is falling.  I have come to a small farm out n the country.  I am with other knights who have rode in on horseback.  there are mangles bodies everywhere.  An older man and his wife, their daughter and son in-law with their three children along with the farm animals have been brutally tortured and murdered in a most gruesome fashion.  My heart and stomach sink and then I go cold and numb.  We have to remove everyone.  We can not stay in their dreadful place.  How could they do this us?   I am packing up everything and leaving them nothing of ours behind.  Burn what we can't take.  I will not share a single thing with these butchers.

It was at this point that the realization that all of the Templars including their families had to leave.  I suspect that that this modest farm was the home of one of the knight's parents and his entire family was killed because he was a Templar.  I feel emotionally numb when I think about this incident.  Cold and Numb.