Please note that the memories and artwork contained herein are copyrighted 1999, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008

My Life as a Leutnant and finally a Captain in the Cavalry during the Late 1700's

People in my Life
There are three people that I have impressions of during this life. The first one is a close friend and companion that went almost everywhere with me. I beleive he held the rank of Leutnant. He would be known to me as Kurt Wolff in my life as Manfred von Richthofen. I don't remember his name or even mine for that matter of fact, but we were best friends and literally did everything together. I also have the impression that I was married. The marriage was arranged and we were not all that fond of each other and I was a terrible husband. I was rarely ever around and I cheated on her all the time. I beleive she also cheated on me, but I don't think I cared much unless it resulted in a child. I think we did have one child, but I am unsure of that.

The third person that I have the impression of was Mozart, the composer. I don't know if I knew him well like the Leutnant "Kurt", but I do have the impression that we went to parties together. I also beleive he may have tutored me a bit on the piano or harpischord. To this day Mozart is one of my favorite classical composers. I also have the strong impression that I knew a British Redcoat. The uniform seems to ring a bell with me. It means something, but not in a negative fashion.

Sexuality of the Time
People were very sexually open then, and I know that I was a very bisexual male. I have the impression that the Leutnant "Kurt" and I would go to parties and women and men would find us to be prized social companions and sexual companions. The parties were rather extravagant and very wild at times. I know that when it came to being with male lovers, it was strictly companions that I held dearly such as the Leutnant "Kurt" or people that I trusted. I also have the impression that something may have happened between myself and the composer, Mozart. When it came to women, I don't think that there was a woman that I could not have if I desired it. I had regular duels, at least once a week, with women's husbands due to me being with their wives. I was an accomplished swordsman and often left these men wounded instead of dead.

Playing the Harpischord
I am sitting at a musical instrument that looks like a funny small piano. It is dark brownish wood with gold leaf decorations on it. I am in a room that has high ceilings and basically white walls with fancy paintings and a large mirror with gold frame on the wall near the harpischord. The wall opposite the mirror has a window or two and the light from outside is coming in the room. It looks like it could be late afternoon. I can see my hands and the cuffs of the coat that I am wearing. There is lace on my shirt sleeve cuff and my coat is a light color silk or satin brocade or jacquard. The fabric is silvery white and the pattern looks like delicate green vine with some small red, yellow, and purple flowers embroidered upon it.

Unwell at a Party
I am wearing the same coat that I described in the memory just above. My pants are also white satin or silk material that come to just below the knee. My stockings are white and my shoes are also white. I am lying on a chair or couch. It is like those chairs that you see the old 1920's movie stars always lounging on. It is very soft and comfortable. It is creme and gold colored brocade. This room is decorated in much the same fashion as the previous room with the harpischord. Very elegant and beautiful. The owner of the house must be very wealthy or of high station. I get the impression that a very big party is going on and for some reason I am ill. I cannot tell whether it is my stomach or head. Maybe both.

The Leutnant "Kurt" is standing there and speaking with someone in the room. He is also wearing clothes that are not a uniform. I can not see though what he is wearing. The room is semi dark. He is talking with a woman that is sitting on the couch with me. She is dressed in a large silvery white satin or silk gown. She is wearing on of those white wigs and fancy jewelry. I get the impression that she is a noblewoman. I think she likes me. She may be one of the family members of the household that is having the party. When the doors open I can hear music coming from another room that I know is much larger like a ballroom that is downstairs. There is a balcony that overlooks the ballroom and we are upstairs.

I think she has asked "Kurt" and another gentleman to put me in her bedroom. She has to attend her guests and will check on me later. I think she has more on her mind than just giving me a quiet place to rest. If I recall correctly, she has them undress me and put me into her bed.

Getting Scolded
I am backing away from the lovely lady in the white dress and laughing in a hallway. Sunlight is pouring through a window at the end of the hallway. It is early evening about 4 pm or 5 pm. It must be before the party. She is scolding me and waving her fan at me like a weapon. And for some reason I find her to be rather sexy. She looks just like a lady that I know in this lifetime..

sleep. He holds his sword up too high. His body is a wide open target. His vest maybe a pale yellow color. We are on a grassy hillside from the large white mansion and it slopes down towards a street or a river. Maybe both. I keep getting the impression of how fragile this man looks. His limbs are not very thick or sturdy. I feel no animosity towards him, so he may be just someone playing around with the sword or getting some kind of lesson from me. I suspect this man may have been Mozart, the great composer.

The grass is incredibly thick and green. Lovely lawn. No weeds. There are hedges somewhere nearby and people or I should say lovers play chase games among them. The hedge pathways are light grey gravel and make a great deal of noise when one walks.The two men with swords are in the back part of the estate grounds. The front of the estate has a huge organized garden like those you see in the books to tour European castles and palaces. There is a formal driveway that comes up one side and rings around the garden at the front of the house to allow for people to leave their carriages at the front door. Then the carriage may proceed down the other side from where they came or go off to the side of the mansion to a carriage house and horse stalls. The road is done in the same light grey pebbles and make a lot of noise when the carriage wheels roll over them. There are broad steps that narrow up to the front door. The building (mansion) appears to be made of light grey brick or very evenly cut stone. The architecture does not look medieval or Renaissance. It looks like something built after the Renaissance. There are big long windows. The mansion is situated on a semi hilltop area near a fairly good sized city. The city seems to sprawl out to the south east to the south west of the location of the estate. To the east of the estate (the backyard side) is another hill that climbs up and is covered in green vegetation. So in the back it goes down fairly steeply and then about a mile or so it starts to gain elevation and becomes a hillside or small mountain. To view a basic drawing of this description click here.

My wife during the 1700's
- She was a very pretty woman with fine pale complexion. She had light brown to dark blonde hair with a lovely reddish hue to it. Her hair was very soft and glossy. She also had very fine delicate features. She dressed in an elegant and classy fashion. She was not too gaudy and not too modest. The dress that I can visualize her wearing is white with a blue flower pattern. She is wearing one of those bonnets that looks like a paper plate held down on the head with a pretty blue ribbon. The hat matched the dress. She wore white gloves with the dress, which was the appropriate dress of the times with the low flat front.

-There are moments when I can see her in my mind. She was beautiful. She didn't wear those white wigs that some women wore. Her hair was lovely and so was her face. I don't and I would have not wanted her to wear those wigs or the nasty white makeup that had become so popular. I can see her sitting in a garden on a sunny day and she is looking up at me as I walk towards her. She smiles demurely at me. I really liked this woman. She extends her hand out to me and I take it and kiss it. She smiles more and pats the bench area beside her and I sit down as she gestured to do so. I remember sitting down and adjusting my sword so that it set comfortably at my side. We are in a large garden with long gravel pathways and sections of green grass and rows of bushes and shrubs. It seems to be midday. The sky is bright blue. We are sitting in the shade of a small tree.

- Our marriage was arranged by my parents who were back in Prussia. She came to live with me in Austria where I was posted as a soldier. We had a son. According to Kurt, my best friend, she was pretty, nice, and had an agenda. Apparently things were not as how she expected them to be. From what I understand I was a good husband until I came home and caught her in bed with a another man. Apparently and customarily, I challenged him to a duel. He was supposed to be a good duelist and had never lost or been injured severely. Kurt, who was my second, described the scene as the man thrusted at me, I made a disengage and a simple maneuver that sent his sword flying and my weapon landed squarely through his chest. The man's second was shocked to see how quickly I ended the man.

- After this incident I informed her that any additional children would not receive my affection. As far as I was concerned I had only one child and that was our son. I would not be sending her any additional money to support her. She could do whatever she wanted as long as it did not shame me nor our son and I would do as I pleased. I would come to visit MY child and she would be tolerated.

- Needless to say I was quite pissed off at her and a bit disappointed. I can still sense the strength of those feelings. She really upset me. I believe I had grown very fond of her and there is a deep feeling of loss from the fact that I lost the fine family setting of having a home, a wife, and a son. All that comfort was gone when I walked through that door.

French Revolution
- I just got through having a short but very nasty flashback from the 1700's. Damn, that was sick. I was responding to a thread on the CPL forum about the French Revolution. Someone asked the wrong question…. If you know what I mean. I feel odd. My stomach hurts and I feel angry. So very angry. It was cart full of teenage girls. The ages of the girls ranged from about 9 to 17 years old. They were terrified. We didn't understand what was going on at first when we rode into the city. We were in a column of about 400 soldiers. I get the impression that 200 stayed outside of the city. We were originally going in with less but we got the impression that a small number would be unsafe.

- A person asked me where I got the information that children had been killed and I responded with the following. And have proceeded to add what else I recalled.

- The mere mention of the revolution makes me sick to my stomach. The death and the joy that these barbarians took in murdering people still leaves me wishing that we had leveled the city. I was there to retrieve my countryman. Seeing so many brutally slaughtered for the joy of it like it was some gladitorial game. If you think seeing crying women and children being brought to the execution place a wonderful thing. Watching them faint in horror, and hearing them scream in terror. Watching them frightened and trying to escape and soldiers bashing them with the guns to make them stay. Watching a place that had appeared civilized at one time fall apart into dreadful anarchy of blood vengence filth and power hunger bastards. It was sickening. The whole damn place should have been leveled right then and there. Burn the city down. Those in power deserved no right to be the protectors of the people! Tell me how teenage serving girls deserved to die because they worked for a family that someone didn't like. It was their job. It was their way of getting food and shelter and money back to their families. Tell me how that makes them guilty for some French nobleman's opinion?

- I can see them. We didn't realize what was fully going on there when we went. We had no idea how far France had sunk into the depths of depravity. You would see the bunches of prisoners and they would be screaming and pleading with us? We didn't all understand what was being said until we got closer into the city. We had people coming up to us begging and pleading from their homes while others threatened us with weapons. And then the pile of headless corpses being burned in the city streets. It was sick. IT WAS SICK. I can still vividly see the body of female corpse and the color of the dress that person had worn. It was a pale colored dress mostly white with a deep salmon underskirt and strips going down the skirt, and around the shoulders was a typical white cloth shawl that women wore during that time. I have no idea why something like that should linger so strongly in my mind.

- But our duty to our Empress was to get her daughter and children if possible and bring them back home to Austria. I think we missed saving her by one day or so. I don't recall if we were able to retain her body or not. And I think we did have a few skirmishes with the locals.

- I get the impression that my fellow officers and soldiers wanted to just start killing everyone. It was some kind of automated response to the events. It was like being a gardener and seeing a bunch of weeds and wanting to pull them out. The place needed to be cleaned. The plaza where the bodies were lying had little streams of blood coursing around the brick cobblestones and panned out away from the pile of bodies in the street. I can see the typical 3 to 4 story buildings that had shops at the ground floor and dwelling above circled around this one small plaza where the bodies had been dumped. The smell and the site must have been sickening to those that dwelled and worked in those buildings. It was odd to see the brightly painted buildings next to such death and ugliness. I keep seeing the body of the girl in the stripped skirt. I can't get it out of my head.

- It was an overcast day with no sun. Just while clouds and possibly rain coming. God's tears. There is a gateway that we need to go through that is connected to this plaza with the bodies. There is a larger building that is great grey white stone. It is massive and impressive. The wrought iron gate that we need to ride through is part of this buildings grounds. I can hear the hooves of our horses clamping loudly as we are all riding together. I am riding up front with some other people. We are all in a very bad mood. We do not know what to expect. I think we have heard rumors that Marie Antionnette is dead. You must understand that not all of us speak French, and those of us that do, do not necessarily believe every word that spews out of a Frenchman's mouth. The city smells bad from the dead in the streets and in the back of everyone's minds is that plague could break out. There are rats in the streets and filth on the ground.

- The big building has many windows and appears to be about four or five stories high. I have the impression that this is a governmental building, perhaps the palace or some kind of parliament type building. Maybe it is both. French troops are around and they eye us suspiciously, aggressively, and we are not willing to be messed with. The number of armed soldiers on the grounds seems strangely low. I think this is the reason why they did not resist us when we approached. They seem alarmed when we inform them that we have come for Marie. I have the impression of fear welling up inside them. Their reaction to us makes us alarmed that what we heard may be correct.

- Some of us go inside to talk with officials. There is heated angry conversation in this entrance way. I have the impressive that one of the "gentlemen" there speaks with a very strange French accent that is hard for us to understand. I think someone has gone off to find someone who speaks Austrian German. I feel like I am the second in command of this expedition. I am not directly arguing with this men. I am keeping an eye on what is going on around us. Looking for any new French troops and anyone who could be a threat. These men that we talk with seemed to be middle class. I have the impression that they are politicians. My commander and one of the Frenchmen are really having words. They are shouting at each other. I feel like I am shaking inside with anger.

- I am getting the flashes of the girls again from the cart. She is reaching out at me saying something with tears in her eyes. She is a beautiful young woman with lovely white complexion about 14 or 15 years old. She has dark brown hair that is curly and is partial tucked up underneath a white maids cap with a little lace around the edge. She is wearing a white cotton shawl over her shoulders. The dress is mostly white with salmon pink stripes. She and I have eye contact and I don't know what to do. She is with mostly girls. But there is a little sandy haired boy standing next to her. He seems to be in shock. She keeps him close to her. He is about 7 years old. The cart turns away from where we must go. The other prisoners have stopped pleading with us but she and I keep looking at each other as we head in different directions.

More about Baroness/Marqueesa and her parties
The Baroness or Marqueesa had a lovely home. It was three stories and had a circular design in which the floors were open to a center area that one could stand at a railing and look down to the first floor that had white marble floors. I am not certain but there may have been a circular hallway and stairway system in the house, so if one wanted to go up the top floor, it was a bit of a walk. This house was her house. She didn't live with her husband because they didn't want to live together. Perhaps he was older. It was well known that she and her husband did their own things.

It was also well known that I was her favorite f--k mate. She loved to throw exquisite parties and I was often her escort. It was well known also that she would get very jealous if other women showed too much attention to me, and I was easily entertained by some of these beauties. It was kind of a game with her and I about this. She had her private way of getting me back for flirting while in the bedroom.

Later in the evening when a certain amount of the guests had left, some of us would hang around to play the naughty games that the other party goers did not do. It was a sort of guessing game that I recall. Uh, the women wore those dresses with the big skirts and well, they would hold the skirts of their dresses over their faces and show their private parts. No underwear. And the gentlemen, if you could call us that, would guess who was who. If you made three wrong guesses, you would be kicked out and automatically disqualified. A man could decide to only guess a certain amount and hope that no one else could guess more than he. I recall that I was the only man to guess all the women correctly. And yes, I knew a lot of the ladies, but I also employed other clever means of figuring out who was who. Shoes and stockings helped along with general body build. Some women could be very insulted if you guessed the wrong name, especially if it was a woman that they did not deem to be as attractive as themselves or if you "knew" the woman intimately and did not recognize them.

The men also played this game for the ladies. We stood with the trouser flaps down and a sheet or table cloth over our upper bodies. I think the women had an easier time since they could see our trousers, stockings, and shoes, which if the ladies had good memories could figure out who was who. If I wore my uniform, it was a dead give away.

Sitting with Mozart?
It appears to be late evening in a large manor home of some sort. I am sitting in a private sitting room with a nice warm fireplace, large cozy armchairs, a glass of nice of brandy or schnapps, and I am talking with a man, whom I believe is Mozart. I have been spilling my guts to him about my wife. She really hurt me. I am getting the impression that Herr Mozart also from time to time had problems with his wife. He sits with me in darkness as we listen to the fire snap and pop. We are both men who have had difficult women to contend with and our idealistic dreams dashed.

Austrian Town Gone Nuts!
When I originally recalled this memory, I had thought it occurred in Vienna, but after consulting with "Kurt", it came to light that it happened in a small town somewhere between Salzberg and Vienna.

I also thought I had written down the memory, but apparently I did not or I lost it somewhere. So I will describe the basic events and perhaps someday I find what I originally wrote or get another full memory flash of the events.

I am standing in a town square. The buildings are about three stories tall and many people are gathered there. There is some kind of uproar. People are upset and arguing. From what I gather is that someone in their lack of wisdom in the village government has decided that all the illegitimate children should be killed. People are taking babies from crying women and have even arrested children. This whole mess was started by the Burgermeister. Fingers were being pointed in my direction, but I was not responsible for these children. I got into some kind of nasty conversation with the Burgermeister and made the comment, "Was he going to kill his own daughter too." I don't recall clear enough why or what exactly happened, but he did kill his daughter, which was probably my fault. I had slept with her.

Kurt recalls that he and I smuggled a cart load of children to be executed out of the town and had to actually take up arms against those that would stop us.

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