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Please note that the memories and artwork contained herein are copyrighted 1999, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007 |
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There is a hillside behind my parent's home. And the hill goes up a little and then back down. There are lots of trees and shrubs growing there. It is an ideal location for a private meeting place. You could look down at the house and see who is coming and be prepared for them before they should reach you. It is summer time when the grass is green and soft. This was a special place where I played and brought my young female companions. Apparently, I had many girlfriends as a youth, but this one girl stands out in my memory now. I was 11 and she was 12 years old. She had long dark brown hair that she wore down and from my memories, she always wore white dresses. She was very pretty. I believe her name was Margret, but I do not remember her last name. I brought her to my little rendezvous spot and shared myself with her. I even managed to convince her that we should do this because it was fun, it felt good, and that the adults did it all the time to show each other much they liked each other. I was also rather certain that no one could catch us in this spot. I told her that this time I wanted her to take off all her clothes and she seemed rather taken back and protested that it would be unfair. I assured her that I would take all my clothes off too. I wanted to see what it would feel like to do it completely naked. She agreed to this as long as I took off all my clothes too. I started by removing my shirt. It was about 3 o'clock in the afternoon and the air was comfortable to my skin. I sat back on the blanket and started to untie my shoes. She watched me as she tried to unbutton the back of her dress. I had already removed my socks and shoes while she continued to struggle with the dress buttons and watched me. I stopped undressing and offered to help her. She turned around and I began to unbutton the loops around the buttons. Once I had helped her remove her dress, she sat there in her slip, pantelettes, stockings, and shoes. She smiled shyly at me and I kissed her and hugged her. She removed her stockings and shoes and then waited for me to remove my trousers. I was kneeling on the blanket in my underwear as I watched her remove her pantelettes. She was still wearing her slip. We stared at each other for a moment in anticipation. I reached towards her to remove the slip and she grabbed my hand and said, "You first." So I removed my undergarments and watched her reaction. She stared at my exposed groin and smiled at me and then removed her slip. I found myself staring at her youthful body and soon I found myself laying her down on her back. The thrill of her flesh next to my flesh was all that I had expected. I think I got to be with this sweet girl at least 2 or 3 times and I'm sure I wrote her love notes and brought her flowers, but it was not to last. The following memory explains why nothing ever became of this early romance. I am unsure as to how our parents found out. I can only guess that maybe one of her siblings or a jealous girlfriend may have told on us. I do get the impression that I had had many girlfriends, so maybe I upset someone. The following memory is the result of our fathers finding out. I am in a room that looks like a formal parlor or office/library room. It is not in my parents house. I am standing with Papa. The room is rather elegant, they must have been a family of some wealth. Her father is very upset and mine is not so pleased either. I take the blame for the most part. She looked awfully unhappy, but somewhat in awe when I took the blame. Since we were so young, they couldn't marry us so they decided to punish us and never allow us to see each other again. We were ordered never to speak of it again or else we would be punished again. I had to watch as her father put her over his knee and it made me angry. I wanted to take her by the hand and run out the door. Her eyes were red and full of tears as she was told to watch me being punish. She continued to sob and I was determined not to cry and be brave. I was able to hold back after the first three wacks and I think that upset my father and upset her father. My papa was determined to make me cry so that her father would feel assured that I had been punished sufficiently. I tried my best until he swatted me so hard and so many times that I finally cried out and asked him to stop. Two more swats after my pleas seemed to satisfy him and her father. I looked into her eyes and she looked horrified behind her tears. I was sore and angry. It wasn't fair that we could not see each other anymore. I left with my father and I can remember her still crying and saying something. I wanted to hug her and comfort her. I wanted her to comfort me! The only time I saw her again was across a busy street. I left for military school not too long after that. One of the many reasons why I hated military school was that there were no girls around. I also have the strong impression on laying on my bed at home on my stomach while someone like my mother or sister is putting cold compresses on my sore bare butt. I get the impression that whoever she was seemed to be upset and concerned about me. This memory also explains to me why I felt so upset after Margret Voss's mother caught us in bed together. I was so afraid that they would not ever let me see her again. Due to circumstances that I am unable to share with everyone, information has come to me that this young Margret from my hometown was gotten pregnant by me. This information has been kept secret from me until just recently. I wonder what happened to the child. Was she allowed to keep the child or was she forced to give it up to some relative? |
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